Anxiety VS. Provision

Last night I had some real trouble sleeping. While I laid there in bed I wondered why my mind wouldn’t rest, why was sleep evading me so readily…? I eventually put my finger on it, and it was my anxiety over the coming week.

I was placed last week (finally!!) in a 3rd grade classroom and I met my teacher and supervisor on Thursday. I have the nervousness of meeting a new class, taking over lessons, and actually teaching! i love to teach, but well, I get nervous before I do it. and I really don’t know what to expect so that adds to it.

So now as I lay in bed I have unearthed my reason for my anxiouty and nervousness and I confess it to God whole heartedly and I am reminded of a verse I read earlier this week.
It was from Psamls 127:2, the second part of the verse… it says:

“…he grants sleep to those he loves.”

and at the footnotes of this page concerning this verse it says:

“…for while they slepp, he provides for.”

I clung to this verse! I know that God loves me and He will grant me the sleep I need.
He also provides for me.

To do my student teaching I need to have a badge. I went to get this said badge last Wednesday so I could start teaching lessons Monday. When I went however, they said that TSPC (the teaching liceseure for Oregon) had misplaced my fingerprints and I was unable to get my badge until I either had them redone or they were found.

I was not happy! I had waited all this time to be placed and now here was something else holding me back!! When I met my teacher and principle Thursday and confessed that I did not have my badge yet, I was informed that I would not be able to teach until I did but I could observe. Still, I was not happy…

But as I lay in my bed thinking about this I realized that God had provided for me while I slept earlier that week. He knew my fears and anxiousness about jumping in and having to teach right away. But he provided a way that I could not be allowed to teach.

Maybe I sound lame, but I believe that God understood my nervousness and made a way to relieve me of my worries until I can be sure in my abilities and the place he has put me. He thought of me and cared about my feelings, He validated them and understands them. I am so thankful.

So although, yes, it is a pain that I may have to be re-fingerprinted and have to take time out of school to get my badge, I am so thankful that I don’t have to jump in and teach yet.

The second verse that was in the footnotes I love also cause it makes me think and wonder….what is God providing for me while I lay here at night and rest? God never rests, He has the time to provide for me.

What is He providing for you?


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