One thing that I have learned this year, or have had repeatedly pounded into my head (so it seems), is that as Christians we need to step out in our faith and surround each other in prayer. We need to be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and when we have a word or feel that we need to pray for them, we need to set aside our inhibitions, step out of our comfort zone, and move in the Spirit. Because when we do, we are blessing that other person, and in return being blessed.
I have to say that I better understand that now. And not because of anything I did, but because a friend stepped out in her faith and followed the promptings of the Holy Spirit and blessed me.
I was having a hard time on Thursday. I was at war spiritually all day. Brandon and I were scheduled to lead worship for the college group. I was to be the lead singer, and I knew from my previous leading experience that I could not do it on my own. I knew that in order for God to be glorified by the worship that evening, I had to let go and let God. I needed to release my fears, worries, and anxieties about leading worship and put my self in the mind set that it was not about me and the band and how we did or how I led; whether I sang the chorus enough times, or sang the right song (which I had a problem with before *wink *wink * for those who remember) but that it was about God being glorified through that evenings music.
No matter how I tried to reason with myself though, no matter how much or hard I prayed, something inside of me wouldn’t let go of the fear and anxiety. A voice kept telling me that I would fail, that I wasn’t good enough. It lied to me about everything and anything it could get its hands on to tear me down. I really just wanted to stand in the back that night and worship with my voice loud and hands raised high just for Jesus. While that isn’t wrong to want that and to do it, I knew it was wrong for me. God had asked us to step out and fill a need for time in the college group, and Thursday was the night that He had asked us to, that He had asked ME to step out in faith and be a leader.
Well we got through practice, kind of ungracefully, and I was more worried and anxious than before. But I still couldn’t let go of my self. I couldn’t drown out the noise of all the lies the enemy was whispering to me. Tony broke us off into our own individual prayer time afterwards and I went to the back of the room behind the sound system where I felt I was in my box. I prayed and pleaded for release and comfort and the lifting of the “I-Centered” view I was holding, but it wouldn’t let go. We were then asked to spread out around the room and cover it with prayer. I decided to stay where I was on my own. I still wasn’t ready, I needed more prayer.
I saw my friends move around praying over the room. Charis (I hope I don’t embarrass you) moved towards the back of the room. I realized that I hadn’t said hi to her yet that evening since I was onstage when she came in. She moved to the back corner of the room near to where I was. I lost sight of her once she was out of my peripherals, but soon I found she was right next to me asking if she could pray for me (thinking about it now is making me tear up).
I told her I would love it (or something like that) and she prayed over me. She prayed SPECIFICALLY for what I was feeling right then, and what I had been feeling all day. She prayed for the release of the struggle with the enemy that I was going through and the release from all the lies I had been told that evening. I hadn’t talked to Charis at all before now, and I hadn’t told anyone but God my struggles and fears that I was feeling that day.
You see, God had prompted Charis that day to move to the back of the room and then over to me to pray. And her step of faith, her step out of her comfort zone to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit blessed me that evening and released me from the bondage I had felt that day that I couldn’t be released from on my own.
I want to encourage everyone to listen to the little nudges we feel from the Holy Spirit especially when it is stepping out to pray for someone or share a word or a vision. We can’t see how it will effect them from our very limited view. But it may truly release that person from what they are going through like it did for me that night. I just wanted to say thank you so much for your faith Charis, it has encouraged me and made mine stronger. I am incredibly blessed to call you my friend.